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Gateway to Nothingness

My Ramblings

7/3/11 04:16 am

I hardly ever drank before Nadine. After I left her for cheating on me, I seem to drink quite often. Memorial Day, her birthday, 4th of Ju7ly ( her favorite holiday. I hate her for what she did. And I can't find the part of my soul that is missing. Why did she break me so.

My heart aches. I can't find solace. I thought maybe Regis, but that is gone to me. I am broken and this will be the most truth from me ever. I am out of vodka and now to drown myself in distraction.

I will share this because it is my hidden heart. I normally conceal but deep down I truly feel. There is the thunder. The vodka is wearing off. But I will share this none the less. I am lost no matter what I say.

No WoW tonight.

4/28/10 04:20 pm - Random Tidbits about me

I guess you can say this stemmed from a flash of boredom...

- Lately, when people ask my age, I get it wrong. It's not because I don't know when I was born or can't do the math, my brain just doesn't seem to care about my age that much.

- I have dreams that often like to repeat. I do recall dreams that I've had long since past that were one-shots that later seem to have come true. Others, I see faces and things that I can't place until later in life and recognize.

- There are two good things that I can say came out of my failed marriage. 1st is of course Chewbacca, my pug. Second is she was the driving force that sent me up to Camp Sac with my brother for my first event.

- I enjoy music, movies and some musicals, but I don't like being in crowds. Only been to 1 major music show willingly, a Green Day/Blink-182 Concert some years back. 2 Plays/musicals within the last 15 years that I can recall. I've never really been one to go into NYC to do much.

- I try not to regret things that I may have missed or actions I have taken, with one major exception to that rule currently, my marriage.

- I like to keep an active imagination and visualize things in my head.

- Playing video games are a major part of my life. There will be times that I take a hiatus from some games that get too demanding, but I usually go back after a while. Some examples are Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, World of Warcraft, just to name a few.

- I love movies and some Television series. When I can afford it, I try and keep a decent movie library. But I am always looking for new things to watch be it TV series, anime, and what-have-you.

- Part of my current income is baby-sitting for some friends. The kids are pretty good and I try and get some "classical appreciation" into their lives by making them watch The Snorks and The Smurfs.

- Friends, for me are few and far between. I try to be easy-going and friendly for the most part, but there are few people that see my true darker side. I categorize people I know into various categories. Acquaintances, Kinda-Friends, Friends, True-Friends and Best Friends. People in the first two categories I am willing to help with things like Moving, with some bribery aka food. The next two if I'm not busy and am able to, will help with just about anything without the bribery. The second-to-last group I would be there as soon as possible to help. The last group, would be the one I would be sitting next to should the cops every be called. lol. Once you get to the to Friends or above, it would take near an act of god to break my loyalty towards you.

- I'm a Gemini. As an air sign, I do tend to like to talk, when I get in a talking mood. I also tend to be a devil's advocate on some things. I try and keep an open mind and view from different angles. With that said...

- I know I can be a major dick at times. And sometimes I do it, just because I can.

- I am also prone to talking myself out of things. I often second-guess myself with things usually involving going outside.

- I am very prone to bouts of laziness. But I do enjoy going out and doing things. Not have obligations to go outside usually help start it, but I can overcome it from time to time.

- Yes, I am overweight and know it, so please, don't bring it up.

- I would either love to be immortal, or just be able to travel throughout time to see everything.

I'll end it here. I'm being a bit of a blowhard, aren't I?

10/20/09 08:07 pm - Tis been but awhile

Since my last post, I've lost my job, built a pool, had a lot of time hanging out with friends. Been job hunting a lot with not much luck.

I want to try and go out and try dating again, but yeah, lack of a job doesn't help with that. So yeah, that's about it.

4/14/09 09:41 am - Change in life

I figure I might as well say it now. I have moved out of the apartment with Nadine as we are going to get divorced.

4/10/09 09:35 am

12/23/08 11:17 am - Meme Time

For those of you unaware:

1. Open your music player (don't care what it is)
2. Hit shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Make sure to type in what's playing- and don't lie, please

Opening Credits: U-Fig - System of a Down

Waking Up: You Hate - Rammstein

First Day At School: Hymn - Bond

Falling In Love: Poor Unfortunate Souls - Little Mermaid Soundtrack

Losing Virginity: License to Kill - Gladys Knight

Fight Song: Wonder Boy - Tenacious D

Breaking Up: Beautiful - John Eddie

Prom: Meg's Garden - Disney's Hercules Soundtrack

Life: ATWA - System of a Down

Mental Breakdown: Alive - Daft Punk

Driving: Atlanta - Bond

Flashback: Happy Tree Friends Theme

Getting Back Together: The Sign - Ace of Base

Wedding: D&D - Stephen Lynch

Birth of Child: Better Metal Snake - Dethklok

Final Battle: Whole New World - Aladdin

Death Scene: What is Love - Haddaway

Funeral Song: Stranded - John Eddie

End Credits: I'm Your Villan - Franz Ferdinand

- Available: Married
- Age: 26
- Annoyance: a few
- Animal: Dog and Cat

- Beer: not really
- Birthday: June 2nd
- Best Friends: Don
- Body Part on opposite sex: Mind
- Best feeling in the world: Nirvana
- Blind or Deaf: blind
- Best weather: Depends on my mood, I like cold and warm, but not hot
- Been on stage?: Once
- Believe in Magic: yes
- Believe in Santa: in the concept and that there was a person at one time

- Candy: chocolate
- Color: purple
- Chinese/Mexican: chinese
- Cake or pie: pie
- Continent to visit: Australia
- Cheese: melted on my sandwich

- Day or Night: Night
- Dance in the rain: sometimes

- Eyes: hazel
- Everyone's got a(n): issue
- Ever failed a class?: yup

- Full name: Brian Andrew Chayka
- First thoughts waking up: ehhhhhh
- Food: Chicken Parm

- Greatest Fear: sharks
- Goals: I need to fix an issue
- Get along with your parents?: for the most part
- Good luck charm: I try and make my own luck

- Hair Color: dirty Blonde
- Height: 5'8 1/2"
- Happy: Ehhh
- Holiday: no clue
- How do you want to die: never

- Ice Cream: Soft Serve Twist in a Waffle Cone
- Instrument: I can't play

- Jewelry: a ring and a watch
- Job: Field Analyst

- Kids: maybe in the future
- Kickboxing or karate: kicking ass
- Keep a journal?: I have an LJ but not much is written in it lately

- Love: is a harsh mistress
- Letters: I hate to write, my hand writting is barely legible
- Laughed so hard you cried: a few times

- Milk flavor: plain
- Movies: lots
- Motion sickness?: every once in a while
- McD’s or BK: McD's

- Number of Siblings: 2
- Number of Piercings: 0
- Number: 69

- One wish: Immortality to be able to fix everything wrong in the world

- Perfect Pizza: it varies
- Pepsi/Coke: pepsi or Sprite

- Quail: ...

- Reason to cry: broken heart
- Reality T.V.: nope
- Radio Station: not really
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: yessum
- Ring size: no clue

- Song: various
- Shoe size: 10 1/2
- Salad Dressing: Oil and Vinegar
- Sushi: ewwww
- Skipped school: a few times.
- Slept outside: every once in a while
- Smoked?: nope
- Skinny dipped?: nope
- Shower daily?: not as often as I should
- Sing well?: I doubt it
- In the shower?: if no one is around
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries

- Time for bed: whenever I get tired
- Thunderstorms: "ooo pretty"

- Unpredictable: I would like to think so but probably not

- Vacation spot: the woods

- Weakness: chocolate, movies, games
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Don
- Who makes you laugh the most: Don
- Worst feeling: For me, depressed, for others, homicidal
- Wanted to be a model?: Never
- Where do we go when we die?: everywhere
- Worst Weather?: Hurricanes

- X-Rays: just my teeth
Ex's: none

- Year it is now: 2008
- Yellow: a color

- Zoo animal: Wild Cats

12/17/08 03:56 pm

Here I thought I was a bad employee, the guys that run the warehouse, with whom we share office space with, spend most of their days surfing YouTube. One guy gets on my nerves by singing badly or thumping on the desk, also badly with the music.

My head is killing me. I started getting sick Sunday night on the way home (throat felt scratchy) and have been trying to work off an annoying cold.

I built a Big Wheel for a gift to the daughter of one of the women here in the office.

Not much else going on.

10/27/08 03:10 pm - Thoughts

Last night, while walking dear Chewie, I had some thoughts pop into my head.

A. If the universe is inifinite, it means it must loop back upon itself at some point.
B. Time is relative to how one percieves things.
C. If matter can be neither created nor destroyed, where did it come from before the universe began.
D. If the Universe did begin, it must end.
E. If the Universe ends, where does the matter go?
F. You cannot gain something from nothing and you cannot send something into nothing. (Dividing by Zero will destroy everything apparently)

This is where my thoughts lead me.

The universe dies and is reborn constantly and so rapidly that we never know it. It's what provides the energy for all matter. It's what helps us percieve things. Our consciousness start at random points and flow though this chaos altering when our perceptions change to how we think, interact with events every second. Lingering doubts are spots where two consciousness crossed paths and left lingering thoughts ideas.

10/24/08 01:54 pm - A meme for you in my boredom

Ten things you'd know about me if you knew me really well:
1. I love Nadine
2. I love movies
3. I love games
4. I love to travel
5. I love Chewie
6. I have a tattoo
7. I married first girlfriend ever
8. I hold M&M wars with the big bags
9. Rocky Road Ice Cream is the way to go
10. I love to eat Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Nine of my worst qualities:
1. I am lazy
2. I have a whiney voice (apparently I when I talk, most of the time sounds like I whine)
3. I am easily distracted
4. I snore
5. I eat
6. I sometimes like to pick stupid fights
7. I eavesdrop (can't argue with that one)
8. I can be very infuriating
9. I am probably crazy

Eight movies that I could never get tired of:
1. Star Wars (all of them)
2. Indiana Jones (all of them)
3. Lord of the Rings (all of them)
4. Battle Royale
5. Batman Begins/ The Dark Knight
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7. Pirates of the Caribbean (all of them)
8. Spaceballs

Seven best days of my life:
1. When I met Nadine
2. When I met Chewie
3. When I got this job
4. Climbing up Cadillac Mountain with my Brother
5. The day I realized that I can be me and not have to care
6. Wedding Day
7. When I first moved to AZ

Six things I'm known to collect:
1. Star Wars stuff
2. DVDs
3. Books
4. Magnets for work
5. Wallpapers for the computer
6. Animal Friends

Five things that are always with me:
1. Ring
2. Wallet
4. Crazy Thoughts
5. DVDs

Four places you could find me if I were missing:
1. Movie Theater
2. DVD Store
3. Friend's house
4. The woods

Three wishes I want to make:
1. More money
2. A more stable world environment (people wise, not nature)
3. Unlimited Power

Two names I'd give my future children:
1. Michael
2. Alexis

One thing I'm really good at:
1. Being Me

9/16/08 09:50 pm

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

9/12/08 09:55 am - Boo

It seems, I no longer have access to Facebook at work.

My days have just gotten longer...

9/11/08 11:36 am - Scratchy

So I'm standing next to my boss at one point yesterday and noticed a strange texture/odor in the air. It turns out that some of the new people moving into my office area found mold behind some sound dampeners and now I think I breathed some in. GREAT...

Watched Flight of the Living Dead last night, my god was it bad, but in that funny way that a person who has seen enough horror movies sees it.

8/26/08 11:30 am - Here

I'm a slacker. I like reading LJ, but never really have anything good to say in it.

I am safely back from Korea. Returned the 12th of August (as I said, I'm a slacker)

Since I've been back, work has been really slow. (as proof of being here)

Nothing new on the horizon yet, but figured I'd say 'Hi'.

6/9/08 12:13 pm - Ramblings

Since my last update, I have cleaned my PC of the virus. But lost my 250Gig HDD.
Watched all of Dexter, which I thought was pretty damn good.

This season of Lost, OMFG was awesome. I can't wait for the next season. Battlestar Galactica has been really good so far also. Some slow points but otherwise very story driven.

Saw Sex and the City with Nadine on opening Weekend. Saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last weekend. Both movies were really good and I enjoyed them.

For our 1 yr Anniversary, Nadine got me Good Omens. A real riot reading it, but I felt some of my sanity slip out (come on folks, I don't have much left before I think I'll just snap). I got her a book on Monmouth County Murders from various newspapers and Spook.

My birthday was last week and it was a nice quiet day at work and home. Had lots of cake.

Nadine did her first Craft show on Memorial Day weekend.

We're teaching Chewie to swim. Its really cute watching him swim.

Got the two air conditioners out of the attic on Saturday with an "audience".

I seem to have lost my copies of The Adventures of Indiana Jones (The Trilogy pack) and the Back to the Future Trilogy. My mind thinks they got left in Garfield when we moved but Nadine disagrees with me.

Work has been all over the place as usual.

I can't think of anything else to post in here...

5/7/08 10:09 am - Days off

I remember when going to school, days off where lots of fun. I had a day off yesterday and spent most of it trying to get a stupid friggin virus off my system. And while that was going on, figured, hey might as well let it do a full system scan while its at it. 4 hours it ran.

While that was going on, I was copying Dexter Season 2 onto dvds to watch later. Once Dexter is done, there are a few more things that I want to copy/was asked to make copies of. My uncle wants a copy of the HBO special John Adams, which was really friggin good. I want to burn Berserk to dvd, and make a copy for my brother. I've downloaded all of Robotech and would like to put that to dvd. As well as downloading some harder to find movies. I've burned Battle Royale 1&2 to dvd. I'm trying to get a copy of Old Boy and Happiness of the Katakuries.

But thats what I've been up to lately.

4/21/08 06:30 am

One word, and one word only. No hyphenated cheats. One. WORD. ONLY.
Not as easy as you might think. Remember: one word answers.

1.Where is your mobile phone? Couch
2.Your significant other? Sleeping
3.Your hair? Wet
4.Your father? Pollock
5.Your mother? Home
6.Your favorite thing? Hugs
7.Your dream last night? Weird
8.Your favorite drink? Milk
9.Your dream/goal? Nerdy
10.The room you're in? Guest
11.Your ex? Nada
12.Your fear? Failure
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Somewhere
14.Where were you last night? Couch
15.What you're not? Rich
16.Muffins? Ehh
17.One of your wish list items? DVDs
18.Where you grew up? Parsippany
19.The last thing you did? Shower
20.What are you wearing? Robe
21.Your TV? Quiet
22.Your pets? Cute
23.Your computer? Dell
24.Your life? Dull
25.Your mood? Awake
26.Missing someone? Always
27.Your car? Nightcrawler
28.Something you're not wearing? Clothes
29.Favorite Store? Movie
30.Your summer? Busy
31.Like someone? Definitely
32.Your favorite colour? Purple
33.When is the last time you laughed? Recently
34.Last time you cried? Clueless

4/8/08 06:21 am

I just had a dream where I saw the end of lost.

I know this isn't the real end, but this is what my dream saw.

After a major confrontation between Locke's group and John's group, the island decides to send everyone home. Off in the distance, the birds and other animals start to leave the island getting sucked up into the sky and blows away. The leaves of the trees do as well. Everything has a voice. As the island becomes barren, a black oily substance rises up from the ground. It creates a portal /doorway. The doorway takes everyone to a pub/bar/restaurant in Sydney. No time has passed or more likely, they've gone back in time to a time around the flights' original departure. There is much celebration.

Also as part of that dream, I was in the water surrounding the island. I was underwater at one point and I looking at all these Rays swimming past. Someone said that they needed to fly and that in order to do that they needed speed and the right exit from the water. As I was watching this, a very large ray (bigger than a person) swam past with bony obtrusions coming from next to the head/mouth area. Then these two big fish swam past, kinds that look like they're from prehistoric times. One had no teeth, the other was all teeth. As they swam out of view, I glimpsed behind them kinda following, kind stalking its own prey, a great white shark. It saw me and faded into the depths of the ocean. With my back against a reef, I thought I was safe for the moment. It charged right at me. Just as it was about to bite me, the fish that was all teeth swam in and bit the shark and pretty much had the whole body in its mouth in one shot. It shredded the shark and the other fish came charging in right behind it, gaping mouth gathering all the bits of the Great white that was floating in the water. I then got up and back onto the island.

Things of note, while on the island, I was staying in a large tent. I had Chewie with me. I ran into a man (who looked like Paul Hogan of Crocodile Dundee) who was in a rundown tent but after I suggested some of the repairs needed, turned into a glass type of tent. He had a yorkie. Leonardo DiCaprio or a lookalike was part of Locke's camp. His camp also knew how to use the island's tricks, like attacking from underground. The island's voice made a comment via a moth that the reason it brought everyone there was because there was nothing left for them in the regular world, but because of the human nature and unwilling to accept paradise, it became corrupted and created the nightmare creature. And that their unwillingness to accept the island caused all the pain and suffering it had to leave.

4/6/08 12:28 am

4/4/08 11:42 pm - Home

So I am glad to hear that my brother made it home safe from his tour in Iraq.

Maybe soon things will kick up again in WoW.

Right now he is getting pestered by the rents.

I was just toying around with Adobe PS CS3 and made that handy little icon.

Don't give me no grief about the rainbow. I wanted something in the background.

So I made it home from Alaska safe, then I had to head to Kentucky with the new guy. Got back from that last weekend.

I am now getting tired and will head off to bed.

2/17/08 01:57 pm

I just woke up from a series of dreams.
1. I was in this fancy hotel trying to get a room, and they pulled up every piece of information on me and then some of the wait staff tried to seduce me. While all this is going on, I'm trying to get a job back with my Father's company and because I'm not there in person, they are running background checks and are asking about all these court dates and owed money.
2. I'm hiding in a big house where the owner wants me dead, but my brothers both live there as guests. As I'm getting ready to flee, I'm outside, its night and all these delivery vehicles pull up. A Dominos Pizza guy stops next to my prone form asking for my younger brother and when I say I didn't order a pizza he starts to leave but I tell him that the person who did is inside.
3. Its day now and as I approach home, I see Nadine is moving us again. And I remember that I had some stuff in the house across the street and fly up to the second or third floor, the people inside are not who I expected them to be.

At some point I was looking for people who were murdered by a serial killer or something akin to that.

Now I think I will go get breakfast.

Plus I have no idea what I want to do on my day off.

2/14/08 11:46 pm

I feel oh so much more relaxed now. Took a little dip in the pool and then hopped into the whirlpool spa.

2/14/08 11:05 pm

I saw a moose today while leaving work, just chillin near the on-ramp to the highway. I wasn't able to get a picture of it because there was traffic behind me, but one of these days I'll get a picture of a Moose.

2/13/08 01:48 am - HELP!

I can't stop watching/listening to Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End!

Since I've arrived in Alaska, I've watched the movie 2 and Curse of the Black Pearl once, and listened to the soundtrack for about 2 hours earlier in the day at work.

Note to self when I get home, get some more Pirate themed icons.

And don't start anything Nadine!

2/12/08 01:15 am

So I worked 10 hours today and my feet are sore. I can expect more like this all week. I might even have to work on Saturday. I need to see how the week turns out.

I had the pleasure of driving in Alaskan snow. There were maybe 3-4" on the ground. It is expected to snow another 8" tonight.

Just finished the move "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" It was very good and sad towards the end. I needed something a little bouncier to lighten the mood after that, so I put on South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

Its a fifty-fifty feeling about being in a hotel. It has a pool and breakfast in the morning, and I have the cleaning service to clean up while I'm at work, but I miss the things at home that I can't always travel with, Nadine, Chewie and Little Guy. Pictures help, but its not the same.

2/9/08 11:55 pm

my valentine postboxCollapse )

2/9/08 01:05 am

I was |-| this close to throwing my PS2 out a fucking window and then lighting it on fire. I wanted to watch a movie and it wouldn't read the disc. So I tried a different movie because the first was on a burned disc, but that wouldn't play. So I began to think Fuck, its acting like the last one and won't play movies anymore, so I tried a game. Still wouldn't read the fucking disc.

Long story short, I found that in its travels, a small plastic piece broke off inside the PS2 and was preventing the disc brake from lifting and was causing enough friction that it prevented the disc from spinning fast enough to work. So I took the brake out and it works again.

When I was in Hawaii last week, I felt like I should be a Pirate when living on an Island like that. Yar.

2/8/08 10:41 pm

*brain explodes from watching Lost*

Well folks, I'm updating from Icy Cold, Alaska.

Flew in last night, too much traveling in too short a period. First Korea (38hrs round trip) for no more than 4 days, Then Hawaii for a grand total of 3 days (~22hrs round trip) and now Alaska for about two weeks(~9 hrs with a 3hr layover in Seattle).

Granted I love to travel, but there needs to be some reset time for the body and mind. Almost a year ago I did a trip to Germany for 2 months. The only down side with that trip was I missed the last half of Season 3 of Lost.

Its very beautiful and clear up here, but frigid as all heck. And the sun doesn't rise high in the sky, but I was expecting that.

Its going to be a quiet weekend. Maybe I'll jump in the pool at some point.

2/8/08 10:18 pm - Lost


I'm watching Lost on ABC.com and they find one of the Polar Bears from the Hydra Stations in the Desert of Tunisia?!?! And one that has been there long enough to be fossilized....

2/6/08 06:06 pm

I was told today that my face is like an onion and that it makes people cry, by my wife.

1/13/08 04:28 pm

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
His Exalted Highness Duke Brian the Eerie of New Porton Wells
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

1/9/08 03:35 pm


Want to be a x-ray technician?

My throat feels like crap. I have this annoying cough and my throat feels dry and scratchy.

1/7/08 01:14 am


Makes Hamburgers taste like Steakburgers.

1/6/08 09:17 pm - A Summary

That kinda sums up my trip.

1/4/08 01:27 am - >.

Well this fucking blows, I gotta go home now.

1/2/08 01:05 am - Favente Fortuna!

Well folks, looks like I'll be seeing you all on the flip side. My limo shows up in about 7 hours and I have just finished packing. There may be a few things in the trunk of my car, but if I don't get them, its no biggie.

I think this will be the longest I've been on a continuous flight ever.

And because Nadine and I spent almost a whole week watching Lost, (Not a good idea if you plan on flying over oceans anytime soon) and if by some odd chance of Fate I end up on The Island, use that coupon to help find me. The internet is huge and I'd be certain that the island's "Others" would be interested in it.

12/6/07 09:11 am

One of my dreams last night was about Heroes.

So it was the second Climatic battle between Sylar and Peter. Sylar has aquired the ability to turn himself into an iceman than can also be liquid. After displaying the ice powers Peter can mimic it. So as they're fighting, Peter kinda flies up over Sylar and starts Freezing and Melting him in his liquid state, which hurts Sylar. Slowly he began to break Sylar down until Sylar couldn't fight anymore.

11/13/07 11:18 am - I'm burning for you

So I enjoyed a nice day off yesterday. Got in some WoW time and then was rocking (until the break of dawn). Last weekend, Nadine aquired Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock for the Wii. We have been rocking it atleast once a day. And staring at the game for too long makes me feel like I'm tripping when I look at anything. My eyes, she can't handle it captain! I finished 41 of 42 songs on easy last night. The one I didn't do was the Slayer-Raining Blood song. I didn't get past 38%

When I came into work this morning, it was walking into a suana. The coolers we guess went out over the weekend at some point and our room feels like its in the 80s or so, and very humid.

Can't wait for lunch.

10/29/07 04:23 pm - Dreams

Now, I know I have had a fair share of weird dreams, but sometimes I think my imagination gets a little over-zealous with what it can come up with.

My dream on saturday into sunday got me a little worked up.

In my dream, my left hand had something akin to a splinter and I being myself was trying to work it out of the skin. As it got closer to the surface, I realized that it was a small washer (i.e nuts and bolts). I've now gotten it to the point of exiting the skin and as it slides out, my hand splits down the thumb side so that it "hindges" along the pinky side and flops open. After that happens, the fleshy parts of my palms pop out from the skin side. This causes me to wake up (also Nadine was propping me to roll over as I have gone to my side and started snoring), but I think my hand was robotic, but I can't visualise it from the dream. I couldn't go back to sleep.

The other weird thing about my dreams, is every now and then I have dreams repeat themselves, and I go "Oh I remember this dream" and then try to change what occurs in it.

10/24/07 04:54 pm - Beyond the veil

Spiritual Enlightenment.

Above the mundane?

Sense of purpose?

A drive to believe in something. There is more than this fleshy mess of a body. I can feel something, something that feels like there should be more. Something else that I cannot percieve.

Some of the things I have read/watched lately make me think. Yes, I understand that it is Fictional, that it is made up to entertain the masses. But some parts ring a bit of something that by our current understanding can't be true, but might be.

Not really a dwelling of the past, I have no regrets or doubts on my actions, but more of thinking towards the future. A what may be if the threshold could ever be breached.

Do we limit ourselves with materials that won't matter later? Watch a movie and it will be in there for a long time. See something awe inspiring and "burn" it into your mind.

There is more to us than we will probably ever know and it saddens me. I feel there is more than what our fleshy eyes see and our brains interept. But I must head out now...

10/16/07 12:13 pm


This weekend, Nadine and I moved. Down to Highlands, NJ near Sandy Hook so that we can actually see it from our bedroom.

Last week I was trying to get all the services turned on so that when we got settled in, we wouldn't have much to worry about. But the previous tenants look like they just up and left. So I had some issues going around trying to get things turned on. Power is supposedly getting "turned on" this morning, even though we've had power the whole time. And the Cable people are coming in tomorrow to do their thing. But that means, I want to get the TVs to their places, and get the computer up and runing.

10/9/07 03:07 pm - I'm gonna make love to ya woman. Gonna lay ya down by the fire...

Its been a productive weekend. One week left in the current hell-hole apartment.

Next weekend, we're getting a Uhual and then hitting IKEA because Nadine wants a large Klippan Sofa and we need to get the new bed frame.

At some point we also want to get a flat screen LCD tv as so we don't have to lug around a heavy as TV.

10/4/07 07:50 am

NerdTests.com says I'm an Uber-Dorky Nerd King.  What are you?  Click here!

9/21/07 12:06 pm - Ode to your Towel

Such an interesting morning.

Woke up at 3:45 or so this morning to the power having gone out.

Then having that "woke up gotta pee" feeling and trying to find candles in the dark, while doing the "gotta pee" dance.

Then figuring, I'm too awake now to go back to sleep, what to do. So I walked Chewie. I noticed the power was out for several blocks around.

Drove to work early, as in I was on the road before 5am. Got to work by 6am and was starting to see the sun rise on the eastern horizon.

The plus side is I get to leave early.

Still waiting to find out where the Yankee Tickets were mailed to. I hope the guy didn't mail them to the PA house. That would suck.

So I'll be out of here in about 2 hours, and ready to head to a Yankee's game.
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